Shoodaseentheotherguy.

This is gross, but check it out. Joe got into a fight with an Everglades carnivorous toad last night, and ended up with a gash over his right eye that makes us landlubbers shudder.

To hear the patient tell it, "There was a helluva racket out in the garden last night. Probably about 2:30 AM. Nancy shook me awake, handed me the machete, and sent me into the dark."

"I smelled reptile sweat, dove for the creature, machete blade above my head, glistening in the Miami moonlight," describes brother Joe, a tall tale teller if there ever was one, "and swung like a terrified mad man. I missed the toad, of course, but I went face-first into a piece of coral we use in the back ward to tether the snowy egret. My face paid the price."

Off to the ER, almost 825 stitches later, and the medical plan covered everything. The toad is at large, of course, Nancy went back to bed after applying a cold compress to our brave hero, and Uncle Joe, glad to report, lives to fight another day.